[x]

FangirlY’know, you really bring out the worst in me.

I like to think I’m a fairly sensible person; sometimes beyond my age, sometimes a little bit below –I admit it-. There’s not much about myself I take pride in, but my mind… my mind has always been one. It’s been the one constant in my life that kept me from absolutely hating myself.

I was the one pushing gender boundaries at that epic, tender, oh so important age of 5, hanging out with the boys because of course they didn’t have cooties, don’t be stupid.

I was the one the teacher chose to help her with the other classmates. Well, with their sch

My DadWhen I was little, my dad was a superlative.

He was the strongest, the bravest, the most the best. No man could compete with him. He didn't just set the bar, no, my dad was the bar. He could do no wrong in my big youthful eyes.

When I became a teenager, my dad was nothing but wrong.
His expectations: wrong.
Means of discipline: wrong.
Opinions of my boyfriends: wrong.
And it was hard to understand how a man of such great stature could take such a fall. Especially to such a smart daughter like me, who was above the petty "ugh, my parents suck!" complaints of a typical teen. I, who searched for a higher understanding, could not possibly be at

RepetitionWhat's the point of a heart?

That it beats with all of its might within your ribs, pounding at your lungs until you can't breathe? That it stops every time something bothers the weakly firing neurons up past the rivers of your veins?

What does it pump through your weary limbs but the icy cold blood that's trudging from your broken valves? They weep and sigh and cut themselves off in a tragic mobius twist. And without an end, what purpose does that familiar slamming and throbbing have?

Just to remind you that it's there, one would think.

Or maybe the point of the heart is to bleed what it receives. To keep the fluid flowing. Just to keep t

Secrets ExposedHello to the reader whom is taking their time to read this.
I am merely writing this to express how sad, alone, and pathetically worthless I have been feeling.
Often, mostly during the night hours, I start to warp deep into thought and usually end up in mass depression. How I keep ending up in this state of mind is not so much of a mystery as I like to portray it to those I tell. To start off my explanation, I shall tell of today (Jun. 12, 2013).

On this particular day today, I was helping mother at her job in Oxbow Elementary. My hormones had been very out of whack. When I was helping her pack sunflower seeds for next day’s breakfast

Godly Relationships 7: Shared ValuesIf you're still searching for Mr. or Mrs. Right, be patient, be prudent, and be picky. Look for someone whose values you respect, who behavior you approve of, and whose faith you admire. Remember that appearances can be deceiving and tempting. And when it comes to the important task of building a lifetime relationship with the guy or girl of your dreams, pray about it!
If you happen to be one of those very lucky ones who has already fallen madly in love with the same wonderful person who has already fallen madly in love with you, say a great thanks to the Matchmaker in heaven. But if you haven't yet found a soul-mate who honors both you and G

AffectionI miss affection.

I miss having the off chance of being hugged or even kissed when the moments were right.

I don’t like that it’s been so long since I’ve had that.

I think I deserve to have it, but I don’t get it.

I mean, we’re all human, we’re supposed to be able to thrive on social interaction and occasionally have meaningful relations through touch.

But I never got that out of either of my parents.

My father always asked why I recoiled back when he’d touch me or go near me; it’s because
I wasn’t used to him actually reaching out to me that way.

My mother was worse at it; I can c

Animal Rights Quote 4True human goodness, in all its purity and freedom, can come to the fore only when its recipient has no power. Mankind's true moral test, its fundamental test (which lies deeply from view), consists of its attitude towards those who are at its mercy: animals. And in this respect mankind has suffered a fundamental debacle, a debacle so fundamental that all others stem from it.
~ Milan Kundera

SaviorPull me from this prism, and let my color loose. Cascade your words all through my mind, and watch me learn to live. Trace patterns in my chest with your delicate fingers, and I will give you everything. Surrender your lips unto me, and I will find my reason. If only you would meet my eyes, then maybe you could see. That I am not as lost as I appear to be.

You Are Already PerfectI hung up the phone and look down at the ground before looking up into my mirror.
Why do you like me?
Why do you love me?
You could have a million other girls, I’ve seen them look at you, so why me?
What’s so good about me?
Nothing.
I’m so ugly.
Why don’t you go off with someone who’s beautiful?
No, I don’t want you to leave me but I want you to be with someone who is good for you.
The only things that are beautiful on me are these lines.
All these red lines.
I’m so sick.
No I don’t like doing this but…
I guess I have no answer actually.
I walk to the bathroom and quietly close the d

SinkingThe tears sting more
When they refuse to fall
Hot, salty bullets of anguish.
Assaulting my eyes
As I try to forget.

I wake, like a brick wall
It's there in front of me,
Even in dreams,
I cannot escape.

Surrounded by people
I still feel lonely,
Drowning, suffocating in
The tormentor's shroud.

They don't see me,
I'm not even there.
Not really.
The happiness ended long ago.
I cannot reach the air above.
Sinking, falling, leaving.

Will I ever be visible again?
To even myself?
The cruel mirror lies,
It's image of an empty shell,
Its not me.
I'm not there.
I am broken.
Save me.
Please.

TrappedTrapped

Have you ever felt trapped? That feeling when something is happening and you can't breathe.
You can't move because there is nothing you can do. It's frightening. It's frightening when people argue and fight. It's unbearable when it happens right in front of you and you don't try to stop it.

I have never liked this feeling. I hate being powerless. I know I'll always have this urge to make things right. I'll always have the habit of pretending to be okay when I not. I'll always have the issue of pushing people when they want to help. I always ask myself..why do you pretend? I pretend because I don't want pity, I don't need people to

Father

My father is an ambulance. One of those old ambulances, the ones that have seen everything and are still running perfectly. The ambulance has faded paint, and numerous scratches that it has made little attempt to cover. The ambulance does not try to hide what it has done, and the things it has seen, but it does not go and broadcast such knowledge either. It simply drives around, and helps. Its interior is worn, and obviously well used. The tools and bandages are all arranged neatly in their spaces, well secured so as not to fall or get stolen. The seats in the cab are plain leather. Sturdy, long lasting, and strong. Constantly going around lo

Industrialized MindIndustrialized Mind

Turn it off.

It's the silence that eats away at your battery ripping into your bronze armor, drinking your oil.

During the day it's so easy to forget the long dark nights because people make so much noise. It's like an information overload. But when the day sinks into everlasting dusk the dead feeling beckons you, sticking to your skin like a crystallized blast freezer.

And then it begins.

The silence.

But it is never truly silent.

Every file is being analyzed, the gears are turning in your head as the machine belches smoke consuming the wilder land of your inner solace. Everything that has ever made you happy is no

My Best FriendI Can Never Tell You

There are so many things I wish I could say, but alas words can never seem to be enough…I know you’ll never read this, but then again, is that even the point?
I know you probably don’t even understand all you do to begin with, so it won’t really matter, because you’ll remain the same. You are, truly the best friend a person could have, the way you always listen, without any kind of judgment, you’re always there, and if you weren’t, well…I don’t really have much to say about that. You always seem to know if something is wrong, and you’re just there to help me

Embersthe embers die
darkness murders the shadows
stretch
shake blood matted fur
snear
only cut deep enough
to prove life

lope forward
trail branches
continue forward
my own path
nothing to fear
dull vision through the gaze
of the broken

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Incursio Part 3: Requiem-22

Though his decision was an uneasy one, Ned had by now decided that Becker would be in charge of the Helepolis II. Sure, that guy had been a bit of a screw-up in the past week, but it was a very difficult to mess anything up when the thing you control is a nuke-proof war machine.
The ragtag military group was currently rather small, but incomplete. The forces were still gathering, and the time it was taking for this to happen was delaying Operation: Five Thousand Fists.
Ned was shown to a Mexican volunteer who only spoke Spanish. "I'm sorry, I don't speak his language," he said.
"You don't? But you're fluent in German-" Hobbes began

Incursio Part 3: Requiem-21

"Looks like we're just in time to see a test run of the Peacemaker," Ned said, motioning to an object through a window.
The object was a four-legged machine facing a formation of targets with someone wearing a helmet and ear protectors. It had a total of eight Gatling guns in two circles of four.
"Cover your ears. This is going to be loud," a man said.
Once they did, someone else said, "Commence test," and the Peacemaker's guns spun around, then both of the entire circles spun with them, and it let out what sounded like one long noise as it fired thousands of rounds at the targets, all of which fell to the ground in mere seconds.

My I Hate List

Welcome to the list of things that irritate me to no end. Fair warning: it may very well describe you.

I hate people shining lights in my eyes.
I hate Baby Ruth bars.
I hate people who yell at me because of that.
I hate that guy called Darth Clark who made a "Game Infarcer" section of a GameInformer issue.
I hate aetheists who are butts to religious people.
I hate religious people who are butts to aetheists.
I hate having to correct people who call me religious by saying there are billions of religious people in Hell; I'm Christian.
I hate fellow Christians who try too hard to convert agnostics and aetheists.
I hate PEOPLE ON DA WHO

Unnamed New Story IdeaTHIS STORY IDEA WAS GIVEN TO ME VERY RECENTLY. I CURRENTLY DO NOT HAVE MANY NAMES FOR THE STORY, THE WORLD, THE LOCATIONS, OR THE CHARACTERS.

  Look alive! This one's still breathing.
  A weird, raspy and rough voice woke the man up who was unconscious and smelling something odd. His head was hurting on both sides and his attempt to get up failed because he couldn't feel his arms. Instead, he just sat up. He couldn't remember even falling asleep or how he got here. The face he saw was accompanied by others, all of which looked somewhat human, and yet... somewhat not.
  From the perspective of the person who wo

Incursio Part 3: Requiem-20

  Some people, including Pain and Panic, had made this new job easier for Ned, going around and spreading the word, gathering forces, and even searching through abandoned military bases for armaments. They could actually go back to his lab and make preparations there for the upcoming battle, which was named Operation: Five Thousand Fists. However, there were clearly going to be more than that.
  The team even starting going back to the facility in two more "borrowed" cars.
  "I guess the Apex was right," Ned said.
  "What do you mean?" Hobbes asked, who was sitting in the passenger seat.

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Listen up

by *IamHaden, Feb 26, 2012, 3:30:07 PM
Literature / Prose / Non-Fiction / Emotional

As a Christian, I feel as though I need to get some things out here that others like me seem to be too afraid to do. Just a warning, the stuff I say here is stuff that a lot of people won't agree with.

No one is born gay.
Capital punishment is completely ethical.
Abortion isn't ethical in the slightest.
About 99% of our population has been corrupted by the media, which tells them the exact opposite of what I just said here.

Enough is enough. And movies depicting Christians the way they do (like The Crucible and Easy A) as well as that one guy predicting the end of the world on May 21 2011 and then saying it would come six months later all make us look bad. See, I, unlike a lot of the Christians you come across, actually read the Bible. You want to argue about something theological? Come to me, not them.

Listen upby *IamHaden

Literature / Prose / Non-Fiction / Emotional

I understand what you must be feeling after reading that. Look, gayness is a choice that someone made and about gay marriage- who does the marrying? The churches. How do you think they feel about that? The death penalty- where in the Bible does it say that's wrong? It says murder is wrong. Capital punishment and self defense are perfectly OK. If a guy broke into your house with the intent of murdering you and your family, would you get your most powerful weapon or say, "Praise the Lord?" Abortion- well, what if the mother's life is in danger? Well, let's think about that. If you had a kid, who you know has great potential, and he's in the street about to be run over by a drunk driver, would you jump out and push your kid out of the way or stand there and let it happen because your life would be in danger? If I didn't cover anything by now, go on and tell me.

Also, this was inspired after I watched one of Greg Laurie's sermons during church

~sempreLeviathan Feb 27, 2012

you're right !!
the problem is that a lot of people hate religions, and they do anything for go versus the religion only they are ''progressist''....
but the real progress isn't go versus our culture !!

and sorry for my english....

*IamHaden Feb 27, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

it's okay, I know what you mean

~sempreLeviathan Feb 27, 2012

~13StarsintheSky Feb 27, 2012

By the way, that last comment wasn't meant at you. It was meant for everyone on the planet. xD

*IamHaden Feb 27, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

its okay, and actually, a lot of people care about it. still, according to my beliefs, gayness is still wrong, but like you, I still view gays as equals.

~13StarsintheSky Feb 27, 2012

Thanks.

~13StarsintheSky Feb 27, 2012

Yep.
I'd like to say this too. xD
Gay people are not stupid or retarded or any of that other crap that you call them. I have a few friends that are. So what? They're just like any other human being on the planet, just with different views. And you know what they say when you judge people? "Take a look in their shoes." You don't know what's going on behind closed doors, so please. Just stop it. It isn't bad or wrong to be gay. It is a choice.
Safety is something that everyone needs and if the government just said, "Hey, we're going to let all the criminals out of jail because we were being to hard on them!" Do you know how long we'd be here? Probably not that long. And World Peace is a world achievement, right? Well, people make mistakes, but when they hurt or kill someone else, it crosses the line from just being a mistake.
Abortion... I don't like the idea and I personally wish it wasn't legal, but people have a right to make their own choices. I'm not saying it's right to suck the life out of what is yours, but people are still going to do it even if people say it's wrong. It's like the kid stealing out of the cookie jar. "That's wrong!" Well, sadly they're still going to do it. (even though I believe cookies for kids isn't bad... xD)

Sorry for that long piece of my opinions nobody cares about. xD

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